Physiology and Happiness

Ravi Zacharias warns that if we just glut ourself on pleasure, we are not demonstrating sacredness, reverence, or thankfulness.  By establishing boundaries on human behavior, we demonstrate sacredness, holiness, reverence, and thankfulness.  You cannot experience joy and happiness without sacred and reverent thankfulness 

Thankfulness = happiness. Can you be thankful and not happy? If you never establish boundaries, you can never satisfy the boundless desire. Wickedness never was happiness.   Also, pleasure without sacredness is just physical.  pleasure which respects sacredness produces the promised fullness of joy. 

Romance today rightly is when a man’s attention is focused on a woman’s comfort and care. However, the sacrament of marriage needs to be unselfish on both sides and not one-sided.  Despite the most perfect unselfishness, you can’t deny the physiological realities without disastrous consequences (eg celibate priests). Generally speaking: 1. women typically take longer 2. men can have a more steady desire, (seamen production).  This is why absolute chastity before marriage is a must. 

This physiologically consistent desire can be unpleasant at times due to unsteadiness of life, partner mood, health, attitude, priorities, and energy levels.  (ie “I can’t believe you feel the way you do while I am feeling the way I do”).  The male physiology on one hand can seem like prison but on the other, a most wonderful gift that leads a man to marry, have a  wonderful family and take on important responsibilities. 

Our experience can also be different.  The female brain may respond more like a stimulant (pure high), whereas the male brain may experience things like heroin (deeper low).  The male experience may involve more relief, which may account for male tendency toward addiction. I’m not excusing any behavior, I’m just explaining the possible reality and consequence of physiology (different experience). This may explain why men tend to be capable of such evil in this regard. 

So, both sides should be selfless, respectful, but mindful of physiologic realities.  It does no good to expect one parter or the other to act 100% contrary to the physiologic realities nor be a slave to them. Women take longer, and men experience more steady desire.  We need to embrace these physiologic realities or needlessly suffer continual misunderstandings, disappointments, and conflict.  There is a way for both sides to be unselfish here.  Generally speaking, husbands should take time, and wives should make time.